{"id":2394,"date":"2013-07-27T12:33:32","date_gmt":"2013-07-27T12:33:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/?p=2394"},"modified":"2013-07-27T12:33:32","modified_gmt":"2013-07-27T12:33:32","slug":"091-mayonnaise-mania","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/?p=2394","title":{"rendered":"091 Mayonnaise Mania"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"http:\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/2414190\/height\/325\/width\/325\/theme\/legacy\/direction\/no\/autoplay\/no\/autonext\/no\/thumbnail\/yes\/preload\/no\/no_addthis\/no\/\" height=\"325\" width=\"325\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/091-Mayonnaise-Mania.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/091-Mayonnaise-Mania-300x240.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"091 Mayonnaise Mania\" width=\"300\" height=\"240\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2397\" srcset=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/091-Mayonnaise-Mania-300x240.jpg 300w, http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/091-Mayonnaise-Mania-374x300.jpg 374w, http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/091-Mayonnaise-Mania.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a> What&#8217;s worse than a baloney and mayonnaise on white bread sandwich every day for your entire childhood? Being stripped naked and getting your head stuck in a banister, for one thing. Or trying to eat a nice chicken-and-slug burger when a horse walks in and craps in front of you. Or being called relentlessly day and night by a custom Renaissance Fair costume shop. Or having your Mom shove a suppository up your ass every afternoon until you go mad. These are all based on true stories, by the way. Life is full of surprises.<\/p>\n<p><em>Look, a new baby! What a fucking miracle! What could possibly make this occasion even more wonderful? How about a lump of mayonnaise and a decrepit old hag? Now everything&#8217;s perfect!<\/em><br \/>\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"420\" height=\"315\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/97MyITVc5_k\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><em>Gao was really excited to sing for you this week, even if it meant putting his health at great personal risk.<\/em><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Gao-sings.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Gao-sings-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"Gao sings\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2409\" srcset=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Gao-sings-225x300.jpg 225w, http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Gao-sings.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>From Skullard&#8217;s Post Card Collection<\/strong>: Look, Luka! It&#8217;s Duck Dynasty! Or, errr&#8230;. Moose Dynasty! See, this idiot shaved his beard and now he&#8217;s calling the wrong animal. Oh well, shoot it anyway!<\/em><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/duckcall.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/duckcall.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"duckcall\" width=\"500\" height=\"318\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2398\" srcset=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/duckcall.jpg 500w, http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/duckcall-300x190.jpg 300w, http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/duckcall-471x300.jpg 471w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s worse than a baloney and mayonnaise on white bread sandwich every day for your entire childhood? Being stripped naked and getting your head stuck in a banister, for one thing. Or trying to eat a nice chicken-and-slug burger when &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/?p=2394\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[466,7],"tags":[471,472],"class_list":["post-2394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holidays","category-odd-news","tag-mayonnaise","tag-suppositories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2394"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2412,"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2394\/revisions\/2412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatcouldgowrongpodcast.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}