087 Elemental Force of Evil

Girlfriends and boyfriends may come and go (and if they were boyfriends, they usually go after they come), but exes are forever. Both Skullard and Luka have had their share of lack-luster personages cluttering up their past, causing no small amount of shame and/or embarrassment when they come to mind. Don’t worry, we don’t need to check Facebook to know they’re all fat and sad now, living lives of crushing boredom without us while we frolic frequently naked and moderately care-free here in Demon Lord Dante Tower (Demon Lord Dante!?!). Let them reap the consequences of their collective folly of not prizing us as the precious treasures we are. They are dead to us. They are as the dust we kick off our shoes upon entering a finer and more beautiful world that doesn’t involve them. Fuckers.

Behold! The malevolent force of nature that has it out for you and all you hold dear! Fear it!!!

The Arrogant Worms are one of the finest musical-comedy groups of all time, and I’d like to see the wait-staff at the Olive Garden get away with this one.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Nope, we’re not out of chimps yet. It’s finally Summer, and Bobo here is going on vacation. Look at how excited he is. He’s packed up everything he needs to go see his happy chimp family. He can’t wait to get to the airport and stand in a line. Then he’ll get to stand in another line. Oh boy! And then his suitcase which is so full of stuff that it can barely close will be opened again and dug through while Bobo’s privates are scanned for weapons. And then he’ll wait some more in a room with not enough plastic chairs with a lot of grumpy people to get herded onto a big aluminum tube with poor air circulation to be treated rudely by flight staff and irritated by fat, smelly, inconsiderate assholes on every side of him. And he’s going to pay hundreds of dollars for the privilege. Yay! Bobo’s going to have such fun! Don’t you wish you could go with him?