We could have put this episode together sooner, but it was a beautiful fall day. How many more of these are we going to get? So we went to the zoo, went for ice cream, then picked up a pizza to take home. And later Luka can pick out a movie and we’ll watch it on the couch in our footie pajamas. It’s another “Divorced Dad’s Weekend” with the Skullards. We strongly recommend that every so often you take someone you love out on the town and treat them like you only have limited custody. You may not be able to buy love, but they’ll always love that you try.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to cross-breed a venus flytrap with animal life, but since we have one handy anyway we’ll let him do it. The Revenge of Dr. X (1970) recounts the worst vacation in NASA’s personnel files. This rage-oholic makes Dr. No, Dr. Phibes and Dr. Moreau seem like easy going stoners. And really, would YOU murder an old woman to feed her heart’s blood to something this goofy looking? We thought not.

Back in the 40’s, if you could afford a chimp as a pet, you could probably afford some kind of camera to film its excesses and abuses. This harrowing documentary of an animal with no discipline rampaging according to its own primal will is given a silly soundtrack and goofy first-person (?) voice-over to make it seem funny instead of deeply troubling. Warning: severe turtle abuse is not only allowed but encouraged. Not fit for children, you should prepare yourself suitably for the horror that awaits you in Chimp’s Vacation (1944).

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Don’t look at the wrong porn site and don’t fuck with the mail. We’re warning you, asshole.