We’ve been having a terrible time sleeping lately. Actually, Luka’s been dealing with insomnia forever while Skullard’s only been having minor trouble recently. The nice thing about being a couple is that when one person starts developing a chronic problem the other person who’s been crippled by it for years already can guide the first one through the process. “Hey there, welcome to insomnia. Come in and help your self to a non-stimulating drink. Feel free to sit anywhere and get comfortable with the idea that you’ll never be comfortable again.” Of course, Skullard’s current problem of waking up too early and not going back to sleep is hardly on the same level as Luka’s vacant, bloodshot eyes staring for hours into the night’s lightless void, plus it does give him the chance to blearily fiddle with his iPad in bed with his glasses off. You would think that since we’re spending so much time just lying there, unable to shut our brains off, we’d be coming up with all sorts of ideas about the podcast and how to make it even more entertaining. You’re cute.
SEE words come up on the screen! READ what they have to say! Never before has a trailer lacked so much content FROM THE FILM IT’S PROMOTING! And it’s all done in the THIRD DIMENSION, by which we mean you can reach out and try to touch the screen you’re reading this on almost as if it were right in front of you which it is. Movie? Who cares! All that matters is you haul your ass down to the theater and WATCH House of Wax (1953)!
According to the most recent reports at the time of posting, Bart the Zombie Cat is recovering from his various surgeries, eating and happy. His vet bills were covered by many donations from people all over the internet who figured, “Shit, if he can dig his way out of a grave after being dead for five days, I can at least toss him a couple of bucks. Just so long as I don’t have to touch him. Yeesh.” Bart’s disciples have all now come out of hiding saying they knew this resurrection was going to happen all along and are going forth to preach the Kingdom of Bart.
Mickey’s got the coolest older brother in the world. He’s going away, presumably to partake in some sex-cult, and leaving his bitchin’ boss ride behind for others to drool over. Can Mickey drive the car that works like a chick-magnet, attracting women this kid would have no idea what to do with once he has them? Only if he can learn the AAA rules of the road, so study up, ya mush-head. Learn along with this covetous little shit in Mickey’s Big Chance (1952).
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Dames. Am I right?
