149 Tastes Like Idiot

149 Tastes Like Idiot

This week’s podcast is brought to you by Escapism. Has your hum-drum life got you humming and drumming? Is your daily variety 31 flavors of suck? Does your reality make you sit up and say, “I need to lay down”? Then it’s time for a dose of Escapism. Whether it’s a short trip, a good book or a Netflix binge (*cough* Daredevil *cough, cough*), get out of yourself and into something more interesting. It doesn’t have to cost a lot, just some irreplaceable time. So break out of the prison that is your life and try some Escapism today! (Side effects may include drowsiness, loss of appetite, inertia, inspiration, distraction, euphoria, increased appetite, morbidity, lucidity, liquidity, listlessness, swelling, itching, irritability, shortness of breath and fear of toads. Consult your doctor and ask if unnecessary medical bills are right for you.) Escapism – you don’t have to be boring . . . to yourself.

Cloverfield – J.J. Abrams’ POV blockbuster that sold more handy-cams than the Rodney King beating. You can watch an idiot watching other idiots watching their world fall apart and not feel like an idiot in the process. That’s the magic of “found footage” cinema. “Did you see that!?!” Yes, dumb-fuck, we all saw what you saw because you’ve got your friend’s camera duct taped to your head.

Have we pushed you enough to watch Daredevil yet? C’mon, ya gotta. Take a look at this long-shot hallway fight and then say you don’t want more.

Hey, check out this vintage 7Up POV ad. It was shot by Hud from Cloverfield. It’s so real you might get motion sickness and puke. And if you do, you can settle that churning stomach with some cool, refreshing 7Up. Grab some for your Spirit Day today!

Officer Dan visits the school often and all the boys and girls like him. Ms. Stewart seems to like Officer Dan a whole lot considering how often she invites him to come by while the kids are at recess. Watch Officer Dan use a drumming teddy bear as a negative reinforcement tool to pound compliance into young minds. Amazingly, the unarmed brown bear isn’t shot by Officer Dan who would later testify that the toy was coming at him with drumsticks and he feared for his life. Let’s all learn from Whitey McPo-Po in Roscoe’s Rules (1960).

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “Hey honey, what’s with all the veggie shit?”
“It’s for the potluck, Harv. I’m making a salad.”
“Aw gee, Aggie, whatcha wanna make a goddamn salad for? Those people at church ain’t done nothin’ wrong.”
“But it was in the bulletin. ‘Bring a main dish, A through M brings a salad’.”
“But Aggie, our last name is Wallenstein.”
“Harvey, for the last time, when we’re at church our last name Klegenschlitz. I won’t be a social pariah just because the man I married has a Latino heritage.”
“I’m Asian.”
“Whatever. And for the main dish, I’m bringing my grandma’s famous casserole.”
“Is that old thing still hanging around?”
“The casserole.”
“Oh sure, it’s out in the garage somewhere. I think it still has the foil over it from the last potluck.”
“And what about grandma?”
“Hmmm, you know, she could probably use some new foil. I’ll go up to the attic and check.”
“I’ll do it, honey. You just keep chopping innocent vegetables with the same knife I use to part my hair.”
“Oh Harvey, you’re a dear. My big grease-ball ginney wop dear.”