“Where the hell have you been? You’d better have a doctor’s note if you think you’re going just waltz back in here and . . . what, you do have a note? Oh, well let’s take a look at that. Is everything- oncologist!?! What the . . . here, sit down. Shit, um, wow. You, uh . . . you went to a cancer doctor? Geez, I mean, so does that mean . . . I mean, like, what did they say?”

(PAUSE)

“What? It’s just a blood thing? You fuckin’ slacker, get your ass back out there and get to work! Christ, fuckin’ scaring me like that for no reason? Mother fucker.”

And thus, eight-year-old Tommy Lansing left the principal’s office and went back to class.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: This might be the only guy I haven’t seen in the past few weeks.