019 The Kind That Goes RrrRrr Around

Put your clothes in the dryer, throw in a Bounce ™ sheet and insert the requisite number of quarters. Now press “Play”. It’s that time of the week when we ponder “What Could Go Wrong?” and invite you to ponder right along with us. In a week where bad news has laid a heavy hand on our spirits, we gladly bring you the stupid, the lame, the idiotic and the down-right silly. As the world goes wrong around you, relax and enjoy the small, goofy island that we’ve erected for your pleasure. (*Snerk* “Erected.” )

Sorry New Mexico, but we’re going to keep picking on you until you straighten up your act. Stop driving through pumpkin patches and stealing cow statues. It’s rude. And panty thieving? Really? Grow the hell up! You’re not ninjas, so leave the ladies understuff alone. Panties aren’t the only things getting lifted this week, though. The LAPD’s SWAT team had their guns stolen. There’s a story that’ll help you sleep at night. Don’t sleep too soundly, though, or your wife will try cutting off your head with a reciprocating saw. Why a reciprocating saw? Because it’s handy. It’s also a good idea to keep a broom handy just in case Spiderman tries to hold up your convenience store with a sword. Y’know, like he would. We talk about drug-dealing ice cream men, identical twins giving birth to bastards in tandem and high school students getting limited to three dumps per semester. And then there are the bears. A scaredy bear in the produce aisle, and a happy bear living large in the candy store. Can you say, “Om-Nom-Nom-Nom“?

The Bad Movie Review for this week is 1977’s arachnid massacre Kingdom of the Spiders starring none other than William Shatner. Shatner plays Rack Hanson – large animal veterinarian – who serves as our suave and handsome hero in this Man vs. Nature struggle against the biggest colony of poisonous, web-hyper tarantulas ever to terrorize a small town full of inbred hicks. Thrill to sight of hundreds of innocent spiders, many of which only got their SAG cards the day before, getting squished by ignorant townsfolk. Luckily, the spiders get some of their own back as they kill some of the hillbillies, but don’t worry – no humans were harmed in the making of this film. Eight-legged body count aside, this movie is one of Luka’s favorites, and earns the rank of Good Unintentionally Bad Movie.

No anime this week? Well, maybe that’s because we’ve been glued to our TV, watching the latest season of shows. There’s actually some stuff coming out that has pulled us away from Japanese animation, and we take the time to talk about it. We discuss the latest seasons of House, Dexter, and The Walking Dead. And we also share our thoughts on the new series Homeland and An American Horror Story.

Oh, so that’s what it looks like!

Behold! Adorable fuzzy-wuzz tarantulas pretend to kill people, and then are actually killed themselves. Poor little things.

Hey, douchebag! Be more polite! This week’s bonus educational short Mind Your Manners (1953) will teach you how to act like a gentleman, so girls will think good things about you. Yes, even your sister.