Psssst! Hey bud . . . c’mere. Pardon me fer sayin’ so, but youse strikes me as a poyson of taste. Ya knowse, refinement, right? Somebody who wants da best onna counta youse desoive it, right? Youse know what I’m sayin’? It ain’t jus’ anybodies whut walks down dis alley dat I’m gonna accost. What’s dat? I meant “assist.” I’m gonna assist youse, right, onna counta I can tell jus’ by lookin’ at yuhz dat youse a poyson whut don’ settle fer anyt’ing less den da top of da line. Now lookit here whut I gots fer yuhz . . . youse ever seen sumpin’ dat nice? Lookit dat. Dat dere is whut youse call yer podcast. Sure, youse hoid about dem t’ings, right, dem podcasts? Well, I gots one right here, an’ let me tell youse my friend, youse ain’t gonna find a finer one in any back alley of de innernet or any uptown iTooners fancy-schmancy shop eeder. Dis is da goods, yuhz see whut I’m tawkin’ about? Yeah, dis is da one youse want, and if I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’. No kiddin’ bud, youse stick dis in youse iPodder dere an’ youse ain’t gonna believe whut comes out. Sure, kid, dis is da show fer youse. Take my woid fer it. C’mon . . . What Could Go Wrong?
Maximum Overdrive (1986) has got to be pulling your leg. This was a serious movie? Apparently they tried playing it straight, but damn! All the machines wise up and rise up at the same time to rebel against their creator overlords, also known as us. Everything ever made by our clever little hands now wants to bite, slice, crush, smash or grind those hands off. What the hell did we do? Turns out it’s nothing we did; comets are a bad influence on normally well-behaved inanimate objects. Peer pressure, right? So, if you want to survive the revolt of the machines, the place you want to be is an overly-armed truck stop where Emilio Estavez pumps gas and schtups hitch-hikers like a hero. Sorry Mr. Bible Salesman, but you’re no match for the 80’s macho machine that is Charlie’s brother. Shitty lines, goofy effects, cardboard characters and period hairstyles all collide to make this crappy horror/action flick a Good Unintentionally Bad Movie. Luka loves it for the lulz, and Skullard liked the soundtrack so much, he bought the album.
Thomas Daigle picked up pennies whenever he saw one and took them home. He just paid off that same home with those very pennies, making his final morgage payment with 800 pounds of shiney Lincolns. He’s taken “Every penny counts” to a whole new level.
The cops were called in to calm down an out of control bachelorette party and nearly became party favors themselves as the “ladies” tried to pull off their uniforms. What’s more amazing: that this policeman was mistaken for a stripper or that this woman with the shower curtain on her head is going to be a bride?
In this week’s bonus educational short, a husband and wife learn to ignore the many stresses of life such as work, children, and each other. Please learn to take it easy by viewing The Relaxed Wife (1957).
Lefty gives Ernie the pitch. One of our all-time favorite Joe Raposo numbers from Sesame Street.
And when you’re sitting back, enjoying the O you’ve purchased, take it easy with a soothing bit of music from Kevin MacLeod.
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: It’s the 1939 model from International Harvester. Had this mother still been around for Maximum Overdrive, it would have reaped a bloody harvest indeed. Then again, all that splatter of human gore would have clashed like hell with such a snazzy green paint job. Besides, this old friendly guy probably would have used it’s animated free will to give hay rides to orphans and deliver Meals On Wheels ™ to the poor and indigent. It was just that kind of truck.
