We don’t have cable. This is a fact that drives our cable company absolutely nuts. We get our phone and internet through the cable company, and it’s not that bad of a deal, but they want us to pay for cable as well.
“What are you doing for TV?” they ask.
“What’s it to you?” we say.
“Well, if you bundle TV along with internet and phone, you can get a special price of $130 a month.”
“And how much for just the internet and phone?”
Pause. “About $74. But that’s before taxes and fees!”
“Add on taxes and fees. What are we looking at?”
Another pause. “$80.”
“Alright then.”
We have AppleTV. We have Netflix. We have Hulu. We have Vudu if we want it, but who the hell ever would? Sure, they do offer us more than 150 channels of commercial-laden reality television, a half dozen sports networks and cooking/travel shows we’d never watch, but being able to watch anything we want whenever we want with no advertisements for stuff we don’t want for less money? Geez! Those poor cable company phone reps. They must know that selling fast internet means they’re undercutting their own cable business. And if we ever find a cheap cell phone plan? “Too slow, Chicken Marengo!” And maybe then, they’ll stop calling.
The Initiation of Sarah (1978 ) is a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie, though you wouldn’t think so considering the movie it blatently rips off is pretty good. Remember Stephen King’s Carrie? If you don’t, this movie is more than happy to remind you. Poor Sarah wants to join the posh sorority with her pretty sister where she can forge lifetime friendships, have underwear pillow fights and be molested by drunken frat boys. But, by golly, if those snooty sorority girls don’t turn out to be a gaggle of snooty sorority girls! Aw, dang! And, dag-nabbit, iffin’ those S.S.G.s don’t go and haze Sarah and abuse her and dump filth on her pretty-pretty dress until her heretofore unmanifested telekinetic powers unleash themselves and wreak havok on all and sundary. Yikes! Who could have guessed at such a massacre and copywrite infringement? Luckily, all this means is that you’ve seen this film before done better, so don’t bother. Once again, Luka’s Bad Movie Review is on the job, protecting you from shitty rip-offs, poor production values, and Morgan Fairchild’s nose.
This is a WCGW A.P.B.! You MUST watch this show! You must tell others about this show! You must keep your remote handy to pause and rewind, otherwise you’re going to miss stuff! Find it, watch it, then thank us later. You’re welcome in advance.
Hey Luka! Who’s that at the door?
Look around your crappy school. Do you see anything to be proud of? Win, lose, draw or blah blah blah whatever the fuck? Then please become enraptured by this week’s thrilling educational short, What About School Sprit (1958 )!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “Varsity School Fashons” According to the back of this postcard, we’re gawking at, from left to right, Miss Colliegiate, Miss Varsity and Miss Coed. Now, I just have to say that I don’t remember Miss Coed wearing that tiara in any of those videos I have. I can’t remember for sure if that’s the same skirt, but she was definitely lifting it several times. Miss Colliegiate may be a bit gauche for Home Economics class with those sequins, but at least she knows to accessorize with white boots like everyone else. And good ol’ Miss Varsity always has those white gloves on hand, as it were, to be handy with the boys on the varsity squad, as it were. Gosh, but the sight of these School Fashions bring back memories of my high school days . . . girls looking elsewhere and smiling at someone other than me. Ah well, them legs are too chunky anyways . . . *grumble-grumble-mutter-isolate-brood-fester-masturbate*
