It is Valentine’s Day. Expectations are very high. Whatever you attempt to do to appease your sweetheart will likely not be good enough. Fool! Why didn’t you give them something they would really enjoy, like a tube of Blowpaste, or a bacon-flavored soda? You don’t deserve love! You will die alone and afraid, just like Gumby did!!

Here it is! The great people at Blowpaste took Skullard’s jingle and made commercial magic. Share this video around to all of your fun-minded friends and visit cheekychacha.com to get some Blowpaste of your very own . . . to share, of course.

Skullard and Luka know that Valentine’s Day is not a time of romance, but a day of brutal horror! It is true. If you have any doubts, please enjoy a musical montage of gruesome cut scenes from this week’s bad movie; My Bloody Valentine (1981). Oh no! People are getting killed, eh?


It is best of avoid romance as much as you can. No good will come from it, especially if you decide to marry your high school sweetheart or that fat chick from church. Need more information? Why not watch a fantastically helpful educational short; How Do You Know It’s Love (1950)?


From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Here’s a lovely photo of Harry Warden today. He’s quick to point out that all those stories of cannibalism and murder were hooie made up by the locals to jigger up some enthusiasm for that Valentine’s shin-dig. Everybody needs a villain, right? And besides, he only really killed about five or six people in total and they were all ninnys and fat-heads. And he only ate people the one time and didn’t much care for it, most likely because one of the guys was Tony Balducci and he never much cared for Italian.