112 Best Of Luck

112 Best Of Luck It is Valentine’s Day. Expectations are very high. Whatever you attempt to do to appease your sweetheart will likely not be good enough. Fool! Why didn’t you give them something they would really enjoy, like a tube of Blowpaste, or a bacon-flavored soda? You don’t deserve love! You will die alone and afraid, just like Gumby did!!

Here it is! The great people at Blowpaste took Skullard’s jingle and made commercial magic. Share this video around to all of your fun-minded friends and visit cheekychacha.com to get some Blowpaste of your very own . . . to share, of course.

Skullard and Luka know that Valentine’s Day is not a time of romance, but a day of brutal horror! It is true. If you have any doubts, please enjoy a musical montage of gruesome cut scenes from this week’s bad movie; My Bloody Valentine (1981). Oh no! People are getting killed, eh?

It is best of avoid romance as much as you can. No good will come from it, especially if you decide to marry your high school sweetheart or that fat chick from church. Need more information? Why not watch a fantastically helpful educational short; How Do You Know It’s Love (1950)?

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Here’s a lovely photo of Harry Warden today. He’s quick to point out that all those stories of cannibalism and murder were hooie made up by the locals to jigger up some enthusiasm for that Valentine’s shin-dig. Everybody needs a villain, right? And besides, he only really killed about five or six people in total and they were all ninnys and fat-heads. And he only ate people the one time and didn’t much care for it, most likely because one of the guys was Tony Balducci and he never much cared for Italian.

035 Your Mom’s The Sixteenth Hole

We like to say that we’re “spitting in the eye of a spiteful universe”. In order to do that though, you really have to hock up one hell of a loog. But that’s who we are and that’s how much we care. Here at What Could Go Wrong?, we give a spit. And since we know you’re all salivating for this episode, here’s the write-up!

Cripes, we went off this week. Are you a serious Star Wars fan? Then you won’t be one of ours after this episode. Luka makes it pretty clear how she feels about the classic space epic and its whore-daddy George Lucas. And Skullard lets you in on his contempt for Valentine’s Day and all who require a calendar to be sweet to their spouse once a year. In between those mini-rants, hatred towards our neighbors, animosity toward those who would curtail our freedom to swear like sailors, and some brilliantly misheard lyrics, we actually got a few news stories in. Another truck spilled crap all over the road, which we always love. A judge sentenced a husband to take his wife on a date, which by default sentences the poor wife to go on a date with her asshole husband. Perhaps he’ll take her to the sewage treatment plant, which we hear is the happening place to take your sweetheart this year. A golfer gets scolded by his mother for swearing, and a singer returns from the dead using the “Zombie Cave Escape Gambit.”

The movie this week isn’t actually a bad movie, which is curious since it’s getting a Bad Movie Review. In 2007’s Teeth, a sweet, young girl named Dawn has the worst luck with boys ever. Every guy in the movie, with the exception of her dad thankfully, rapes her. As it turns out, each of the assholes have pretty poor luck themselves, because poor Dawn has vagina dentata, which is a Latin term for the worst case of snapping pussy you’ve ever seen. Luka rates this a Great Intentionally Bad Movie, and Skullard rates it a bad date movie and a boner-killer. We over-analyze and deconstruct the hell out of this one, maybe because doing so takes some of the sting out of it.

Don’t forget to jump on over to our Facebook page on Valentine’s Day to see our special animated Valentine’s Greeting to you, our listeners . . . who we love . . . somewhat . . . perhaps.

Here’s some old footage of last year’s Hole Digging Competition from Japan. It’s a pointless sport, but then again, what sport isn’t? And these people are having fun. As Luka says, “Beats Nascar”.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Tami, The Transparent Woman. I saw her at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry back in the third grade. She taught me a lot, and for years served as my only sex education. If you look carefully, you’ll notice she only has ONE set of teeth.

In this week’s exciting educational short, a gang of claymation teeth learn an important lesson about dental hygiene. Please be horrified by The Munchers: A Fable (1973)!