013 Many Dogs Barking At A Can Of Soup

If you’re putting out a podcast called What Could Go Wrong? and you get to the thirteenth episode, you’re kinda just asking for trouble. All things considered, we got off easy with only minor plumbing problems. On the upside, we went to a birthday party for lions. Can you say that? Liar.

For once, we’re on the side of the police and authorities during our news segment. We have nothing but respect and praise for our public servants who shovel fish heads when needed and force the naked to cover their asses. The animals, though, are out of control! They’re carjacking, stowing away on boats, and getting drunk on fermented apples. Gauche, right? But the animals have to take a back seat to the snake biters, shirtless samurai, and criminal claymation characters. Honest, going into this episode, I thought we’d had a slow news week. Shows what I know.

Luka’s Bad Movie Review this week is 1987’s The Gate, a horror movie minus the horror. Just one step up from a Fear Street book, this movie shows how easy it is to accidently open a portal to the Abyss when all you’re really trying to do is get closer to your sister. And for this week’s anime, we give a tap to Ghost Stories, or to be more specific, the ADV english dub of Ghost Stories from 2005. Veteran voice-over talent take a mediocre children’s anime and turn it into seriously funny adult entertainment by changing the words a’la What’s Up, Tiger Lilly? It’s one of our fond favorites.

Because superstition still abounds, even in our modern life, Luka helps us understand where bad luck comes from so we can all avoid misfortune. You may not be aware of all the unlucky things that you come in contact with every day, like that lone duck or the bastard who keeps throwing nickles at you. But now you can be prepared, and if you want, you can start carrying your own nickles to curse your enemies. What other podcast is going to teach you that?

So, there it is. Sorry about the whole curse thing. It’s kind of a contractual obligation situation. Of course, there’s one easy way to avoid the curse of the thirteenth podcast that doesn’t involve melons: tell somebody else about the show. Tell five other people. See if you can get any of them to listen and subscribe on iTunes. Then your curse will be lifted and you will be blessed for the remainder of your days. Or until the next season of Dancing With The Stars starts up. Some curses cannot be broken, sadly.

Luka has been having arguments with a crow in a tree outside our window. But things could be worse. At least there’s no drunk moose perched in our tree. Imagine those arguments.

“Gimme all yo’ money! I’m Gumby, Dammit!”

As soon as they capture Gumby, they’ll put him (of course) in the pokey.

I know we didn’t really talk in detail about Ghost Stories (ADV version 2005), so you probably have no idea who all these characters are. Don’t worry. Just watch the goofy-ass show.

Why not make your disgusting dinner time with your loathsome family something to look forward to? A Date With Your Family (1950) provides comtemporary advice on how to have more fun at your fucking supper table. Remember you pretty up your hair, girls – the men have had a tough day.

2 thoughts on “013 Many Dogs Barking At A Can Of Soup

  1. That was great! You Mentioned some of my favorite films in the anime segment. What’s up Tigerlilly and J Men Forever are great. Just after the advent of the VCR, Skullard taped J Men Forever on his familly’s trusty Beta machine. I saw more funny stuff via that Beta deck than any other VCR ever. ( a moment of silence for the faithfull and well loved VCR. It did provide us with our first experience of watching movies on demand without comercials, time shifting TV, and previously unavailable amounts of motion picture porn .) Ghost stories was hillarious! I didn’t know what it was. I was just expecting horror stories. If you can believe it, I found it on the local Library shelf. I don’t think they knew how dirty, filthy funny it was. I wish they would do more of these with other Anime.
    Somehow, I never saw The Gate. I guess I’m ok with that. One of Luka’s other Bad Movies showed up on Elvira’s Movie Macabre Last wekend. Don’t Look In the Basement!!!! That nymphomaniac was really moody!
    Loved the list of unlucky things. Turns out my bad luck is due to having a drunken Kayak cross my path. I probably should have mentioned this at the begining, but if you are reading this unlucky thirteenth comment the you have been cursed. The curse reads “May your Podcast be Sucessful!” I don’t get it. Is this relevent to you in any way?

  2. We were the first people on the street with a VCR, and idiot that I am, I insisted Dad buy a Beta. In the house there were the tapes we recorded shows on, and there were MY tapes. Recording weird late-night shit got to be my high-school hobby. Night Flight on the USA network was my main supplier of strange. Now I have YouTube to scrounge from and a Facebook page to act as my VCR. Some hobbies never go away, I guess.

    Your library rocks, whether they know it or not. Ghost Stories from the library is one of those unexpected treasures, like when I checked out Freddy King 1936-1979 and had my musical tastes permanently changed.

    I’m going to just have to live with your curse, I’m afraid. All things considered, I prefer it to a tricycle crash.

Comments are closed.