Our first attempt at this episode was a dismal failure, as opposed to those light-hearted, optimistic failures you’ve come to know and tolerate. So, we tossed it. We gave up. We quit. We cursed ourselves as twats and peons and foul smelling vermin. Looking back, perhaps we were a triffle hard on ourselves. But then we visited cats, ate about a pound of Jo-Jos and watched the K-On! movie. Then somewhere, in our over-the-counter AND prescription drug accelerated slumbers, as the night sanded over the rough and pointy peaks of the previous day, iron re-entered our spines and strength infused our sinews. The lights in our eyes were re-kindled. Somehow resolve poured back into our fibers and we woke with with a new spring in our step and song in our hearts. We were bucked, quite bucked indeed. Caffeine helped as well. But we looked at each other and we knew . . . we had to try again. We were not quitters. As the anime lyric says, “We are never give up!” So we fired up the microphones, grabbed some baking soda, and doused the conflaguration. Then we just turned them on so we could record, and record we did, despite that acrid burnt foam smell. And here you have it: not the first attempt, but the one we enjoyed. We hope you enjoy it too and, with us, learn a valuable lesson: even when things go wrong, you can always start over and try again. You’re welcome for the free plug, divorce lawyers.
In Luka’s Bad Movie Review, an unlikeable couple, their whining daughter, and their short-lived poodle happen across a castle/shack, a weird hobo and the most terrifying ambiguous baddie of all – The Master! Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966) is a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie which features the dumbest henchman ever, and a very bizarre cat-fight. It also tends to repeat itself a little. Repeat itself a little. It repeats itself. A little. It also tends to repeat itself a little. Repeat repeat repeat itself a little.
There is no way out of here. But don’t worry. You can spend the night. Torgo will get your luggage.
The Master’s wives must make their decision. Man, yes. Child, no! Catfight! Catfight! Nyan! Nyan!
Please enjoy Rifftrax’s version of Manos, in theatres near you on August 16, 2012. The Master would approve!
“All Aboard! Ha ha ha!” Those are the words of Ozzy Osbourne. Thomas happily rolled his eyes. Then Thomas chugged while Mr. Osbourne continued to enchant us with his musical performance. There were many antics and non-lethal train wrecks to follow! Thomas crashed into snowbanks, ditches, barns and several of his companions. He tooted cheekily at Gordon! Gordon got cross. Later, in an unrelated incident, Gordon crashed into a wall. James got stuck on a turntable and became dizzy. A crate of treacle fell on Percy, much to his embarrassment. Bill and Ben taunted Boco until he became briefly insane from confusion. Filled with rage, Deisel broke his coupling and fell into a pit. A boulder chased Rusty, and crashed into a building which burst into flame. During these various occurances, the engines eyes googled and their mouths formed the shape of “O”s, signaling their distress. Luckily, no one was hurt. Thomas vanished over a sunsetty bridge into the distance while Ozzy’s enthusiastic tune came to a satisfying conclusion.
Hey, loser! Don’t you want friends? Women? Money? Don’t you want to become socially acceptable? DON’T YOU? Then please learn from this week’s helpful educational short, Improve Your Personality (1951)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “The BURLINGTON DINER – 4183 SO. HALSTED ST. – CHICAGO, ILL. Since Nov. 27, 1939 *FAMOUS FO GOOD FOOD* Clean and Quick Service Telephone: VIRginia 9078 *THE BEST COFFEE IN TOWN* WE NEVER CLOSE” It’s been gone for years.