055 Not Completely Satisfied

For the record, here’s what you have to do:

1. Make a shot of espresso equaling between 1 and 1 1/2 oz. allegedly.

2. Steam 10 oz. milk, like you do.

3. Point your steam wand (YOU’RE a steam wand!) towards the bottom of that stainless steel pitcher you keep tethered to your belt-loop to steam your milk. To create froth, raise the tip just below the surface of the pitcher, or tell a nerd Alan Moore ain’t all that.

4. Pour hot milk in a 12-oz. glass until 3/4 full.

5. Pour the espresso shot into the steamed milk. The glass will now be more full. That’s science.

6. Dust with ground chocolate, cinnamon or nutmeg. Do not dust with dust. You should never leave anything on the counter that long.

There! You now know how to make a latte. You are now over-qualified to work at the coffee shop we go to. Can we come to your house?

1980’s Terror Train is a classic “You picked on me so now, years later, I’m going to kill all of you, one by one, at a party” movie. You would think a guy could get even with a simple flaming bag of dog poop on the door step, but no, it’s gotta be murder. That’s why you should never prank a med school student: they tend to be overachievers. Frat boys trick a nerd into almost getting in bed with a corpse, like they do, and the nerd goes flippo. Ha ha, very funny, but no one considers the feelings of the corpse, do they? Who’s the real victim here? Regardless, years later for a New Year’s party, the frat boys and friends rent a party train. Hey, who’s that conductor, Ringo Starr? Nope, it’s Flippo the Nerd ready to make up for all those dissection classes he missed while he was in the nut-house. Stabby-stabby-stab, screamy-screamy-scream, gag-choke-die. Revenge is pretty simple when all the assholes are stuck on a train with you and there are an unlimited number of disguises you can wear. Luka calls this a Good Unintentional Bad Movie because who hates trains, right? Terror or Thomas, trains are just good, wholesome fun. Toot-toot!

During our ride on Thomas, we passed many of his friends. These including ore boats, retired steamships, classic trains cars, and three trees worth of rotting babies. What the bloody hell?

The family of Aaron Collins have been fulfilling his last wish by going to restaurants and giving the people who wait on them $500 tips. People from all over the country have been donating to this wonderful tribute, and you can go to aaroncollins.org to learn more.

In this week’s thrilling educational short, a bunch of easily amused kids plan a swinging party, complete with a sing-a-long and a paper hat making contest! Wow! Let the good times roll with What Makes A Good Party (1950)!

Alchemy Divine is an Etsy shop with beautiful handmade jewelry and snazzy cool things. Click this link and check ’em out! You’ll be surprised at what you find.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Our Loveliest Listener Janette sent me this great postcard which got mailed back in 1911. Believe it or not, that’s older than me, although the guy with the anchor in his britches is the spitting image of yours truly around the age of 20 or so. Not that I was in the habit of hanging around with blimps at that age, or getting high. I was a very down-to-earth lad in my day. And I was never so thrilled to get a wedgie as this dude seems to be. Still, that was back in 1911, so that may have been the only action he was going to see. Plus he’s dead now. I’m not. So, once again, I win!

043 Dull And Boring

Ah, the romance of riding the rails! Whether it’s losing a foot while attempting to hop a flatcar or taking a friendly truncheon from a bull, nothing beats the freedom of America’s rail system. High-speed rail? Who’s in that kind of hurry? Ho-Bo, Ho-Bo, a transient’s life for me! And what better time is there to listen to a podcast on the mp3 player that little girl dropped while running in fear than when you’re watching the country side roll by from an open boxcar door. So steal that sleeping guy’s coat, roll him off into the ravine, open up that cold can of chili you nicked from the convenience store, and settle in for a life-affirming hour of What Could Go Wrong? It’s what freedom-loving Americans do!


Last week we had a bad movie from L.A. Law alum Corbin Bernsen, so this week Luka follows that with another member of that previously distinguished cast playing a nutter health professional. Larry Drake is Dr. Giggles (1992), who’s not a real doctor, but he plays one in your house. There’s nothing like a homicidal freak escaping from the loony bin with a doctor’s bag and a white coat to spice up an otherwise drab weekend. The maniacal faux-doc slashes his way through a small town’s inventory of loose-moral teens with Freddy-esque wise cracks and various medical implements. But as charming as that all sounds, it only rates a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie rating from our Luka, who’s Canadian and has higher expectations for health care professionals.

In 1895, a somewhat terrible train crash took place at Gare Montparnasse in Paris, France. Of the 131 passengers, only two were injured. A woman in the street below was struck dead by falling wreckage! The accident took place due to a faulty break and human incompetence. On the plus side, it makes for a rather impressive photo!

Do you enjoy staring at an easily amused child, an array of toy trains, and a cast of hideous marionettes? Most certainly you do! You shall have a wonderful time with this week’s short; The Wonderful World Of Trains (1960)!

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Not only are trains useful and fascinating, but they can offer you important life advice. FRIEND! Please read this postcard and spiritually profit from its wisdom!