117 A Drop Of Vengeance

117 A Drop Of Vengeance“You don’t know what true love is until you’ve had a child.” Damn, we thought we knew. Geez, we’ve been messing around with all this fake love all these years, thinking we were happy, just being loveless losers. We wish somebody would have told us. What other things are we completely ignorant about?

“You don’t know what happiness is until you know Jesus. You don’t know what pampering is until you’ve had a spa day. You don’t know what chocolate is until you’ve had a Godiva truffle. You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. You don’t know what’s gone until you’ve checked the inventory. You don’t know what drunk is until you’ve been plastered on Jaeger bombs. You don’t know Einstein’s theory of special relativity is true until you’ve observed the light rays of stars bend from the force of the sun’s gravity during a solar eclipse. You don’t know True Detective until you’ve worked out who the Yellow King is. You don’t know what porn is until you’ve watched All Natural Nurses 3. You don’t know how a book ends until you’ve read it. You don’t know what taking an interest in others is until you work for the NSA. You don’t know trivia games until you’ve played YOU DON’T KNOW JACK. You don’t know what other people think of you until you’re dead, and then you find out they never really thought about you much at all. You don’t know what to eat until you’ve seen the menu. You don’t know true pain until you let me show you. You don’t know what true poverty is until we swap your life with a rag-picker in Calcutta that we’ve had our eye on.”

We do know what true self-importance is because we’ve talked to parents of children.

Belial, the more charismatic of the two brothers from Basket Case, gets on his dancing shoes (after a fashion) and shows you his moves. He’s only seventeen!

Employers beware; your workers may be nursing a grudge against you. Why don’t you all sit down together and talk it out before somebody gets mad and complains to the union? Learn your lesson by watching The Hidden Grievance (1957)!

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “Someday, Trudy, you’ll have a bun like this in your little oven, and then you’ll be a real woman.”

“Aw, but I wanted to be an Olympic shot-putter when I grew up.”

“Don’t be stupid. Now shut up and bake, wench.”
bakingbuns

106 Not The Bees

106 Not The BeesThanks for coming to our home and joining us for our traditional feast of pointlessness. Since we aren’t geographically close enough to visit either of our respective families, we spent Thanksgivukkah with you, our podcasting family. That’s right, you’re family now. So what did you bring? You’re not still seeing the boy, are you? When are you going to quit that job and go back to school? Y’know, it’s such a shame. You always had so much potential and look at you. By the way, when’s the last time you changed your oil? You have to take care of things if you want them to last. Say, did you hear about your cousin Janice? Well you know she was engaged to that Todd boy, right? The Dempsey boy? Well, it turns out that he’s been going on line at his job and . . . hey! Where ya goin’? Hey, don’t leave! There’s still pie!

Having a hard time keeping track of the tangled relationships in Once Upon A Time? Click on this simple, easy-to-follow chart and all will be clear. Sorta.
OUAT chart

Luka says that the best way to watch The Wicker Man (2006) is as a comedy. She’s not alone in that view. Here’s a great trailer to put you in a rom-com state of mind.

Ever wanted to explain Keynesian economics to a third grader? It can be done, and as it turns out, they did it simply and elegantly back in 1939 with a delightful educational short called Round and Round. (Be glad YOU don’t have to pay for your widgets with manhole covers.)

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Why do we wave at people on boats? “Bon voyage, mother fuckers!” Why should we care? We’re not the ones going on a trip. And why would those bastards wave back? Don’t they have boaty things to do like shuffle board or stuffing their faces or something? How about we all go about our respective business and leave each other alone. It’s not like we wish those people well or anything. “Hope ya sink!”

“What did those peasants say, darling?”

“I’m not sure. Perhaps it was, ‘The Pope has ink’?”

“How wonderful for him. Shall we retire to the Lido deck?”

“Retire? Silly Billy, we don’t work.”

“Ah-ha-ha, yes, quite right. Very good, darling.”
bonvoyage