In this, our 22nd episode, we throw caution to the wind which promptly blows it back into our face so that’s the last time we do that. Lesson learned! From here on we’ll be more careful about the things we throw and what we throw them into. For example, we’ll avoid throwing parties at kids with birthdays, throwing fits at epilectics, throwing monkey wrenches into the works or throwing our backs out with the baby and that filthy water the little brat left behind. We reserve the right, however, to throw Mama from the train because we believe in public service. And we happily throw ourselves into this week’s podcast hoping someone will just as happily throw us a rope so we can climb back out again. Will you be our little helper? C’mon, man, throw us a bone.
The Poopcycle has completed its journey! Huzzah! You know how you can tell when the Poopcycle has been through your town? Just take a good sniff, my friend. But biogas tricycles aren’t the only thing on the highways. Daredevil crooks are heisting trucks at high speeds and Good Samaratans are having heart failure. Guys are punching dogs, biting like dogs, and hiding in piles of leaves like craven mutts. Cats didn’t distinguish themselves any better this week as one poor feline spent three days atop a 30 foot cactus only to finally jump down and stagger off into the desert, which is a dire sign indeed. More dire signs include teenagers sticking up other kids for their Halloween candy, Santa Claus getting laid off by budget cuts, and a man who “makes friends” for himself with mummified corpes and blonde wigs. Feel free to shudder. But there are still heroes in the world. Jay Wornick lost 198 pounds in ten months, proving that you can change your life if you are determined. Way to go, Jay! We don’t even know you, dude, but we’re proud of you.
This week’s Bad Movie Review comes from 1973, long before Saw made hacking off a limb trendy. The Severed Arm tells the tale of a group of jerk-ass miners who get stuck in a cave in. After a week of sitting around, chewing the fat, maybe it’s time to nibble on a little lean for a change. They hack off a buddy’s arm, pass the salt and tuck in, but no sooner are they flossing their friend from between their incisors when the rescuers arrive. Turns out, Lefty is bit pissed after that, and he swears revenge. What follows is a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie full of revenge against former coworkers, which for once doesn’t involve a postal employee.
Ever wonder what Skullard does for a hobby? Really? You’re that bored? Anyway, it turns out he collects postcards and various resentments towards his mother, only one of which he keeps in a box. The other goes into a Mary Englebricht tin.
Hero of the Week: Jay Wornick – Before and after. Yes, it can be done.
Though most of our listeners are sad, lonely weirdos, there is a possibility that one of you will someday go on a date. But wait! What the hell should a person do on a date? Ride a bike? Dance in barn? Pull some taffy? Decorate a fucking room? For more excellent suggestions such as this, please observe this week’s educational short; What To Do On A Date (1950).
New Feature! Here’s a postcard from Skullard’s collection: How long will Bent Billy wait?
