022 A Shelf For My Shame

In this, our 22nd episode, we throw caution to the wind which promptly blows it back into our face so that’s the last time we do that. Lesson learned! From here on we’ll be more careful about the things we throw and what we throw them into. For example, we’ll avoid throwing parties at kids with birthdays, throwing fits at epilectics, throwing monkey wrenches into the works or throwing our backs out with the baby and that filthy water the little brat left behind. We reserve the right, however, to throw Mama from the train because we believe in public service. And we happily throw ourselves into this week’s podcast hoping someone will just as happily throw us a rope so we can climb back out again. Will you be our little helper? C’mon, man, throw us a bone.

The Poopcycle has completed its journey! Huzzah! You know how you can tell when the Poopcycle has been through your town? Just take a good sniff, my friend. But biogas tricycles aren’t the only thing on the highways. Daredevil crooks are heisting trucks at high speeds and Good Samaratans are having heart failure. Guys are punching dogs, biting like dogs, and hiding in piles of leaves like craven mutts. Cats didn’t distinguish themselves any better this week as one poor feline spent three days atop a 30 foot cactus only to finally jump down and stagger off into the desert, which is a dire sign indeed. More dire signs include teenagers sticking up other kids for their Halloween candy, Santa Claus getting laid off by budget cuts, and a man who “makes friends” for himself with mummified corpes and blonde wigs. Feel free to shudder. But there are still heroes in the world. Jay Wornick lost 198 pounds in ten months, proving that you can change your life if you are determined. Way to go, Jay! We don’t even know you, dude, but we’re proud of you.

This week’s Bad Movie Review comes from 1973, long before Saw made hacking off a limb trendy. The Severed Arm tells the tale of a group of jerk-ass miners who get stuck in a cave in. After a week of sitting around, chewing the fat, maybe it’s time to nibble on a little lean for a change. They hack off a buddy’s arm, pass the salt and tuck in, but no sooner are they flossing their friend from between their incisors when the rescuers arrive. Turns out, Lefty is bit pissed after that, and he swears revenge. What follows is a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie full of revenge against former coworkers, which for once doesn’t involve a postal employee.

Ever wonder what Skullard does for a hobby? Really? You’re that bored? Anyway, it turns out he collects postcards and various resentments towards his mother, only one of which he keeps in a box. The other goes into a Mary Englebricht tin.

Hero of the Week: Jay Wornick – Before and after. Yes, it can be done.

Though most of our listeners are sad, lonely weirdos, there is a possibility that one of you will someday go on a date. But wait! What the hell should a person do on a date? Ride a bike? Dance in barn? Pull some taffy? Decorate a fucking room? For more excellent suggestions such as this, please observe this week’s educational short; What To Do On A Date (1950).

New Feature! Here’s a postcard from Skullard’s collection: How long will Bent Billy wait?

016 I’m Afraid I Can’t Do That

Hey Podcast Listeners! In many ways, this week’s episode is a tribute to mankind’s ingenuity and inventiveness. In a few ways, at least. To be fair, there are a couple of ways we bring up enginuity. One way? Okay, in no way is this episode a tribute to anything. You made me say it. Happy? It’s just a silly podcast, and that’s all it is.

In the news segment, we have an update on the Arkansas Toe-Sucker case, so all of you out there with feet can rest easy tonight. But don’t worry, there are still plenty of strange pervs out there washing their trucks in the nude and stripping the bras off women through magic. Then we have the usual stories of dryer thefts and cat burglaries. But we do actually have a few stories of inventiveness: explosive cremains, talking rubbish bins and a motorcycle that runs on human fecal matter. Could we make this shit up? If we could, we could fuel the Poopcycle.

I Drink Your Blood is the bad movie this week in Luka’s Bad Movie Review. What can a little boy do when a gang of Satanist bikers rape his sister and beat up his grandfather? Give those meanies some meat pies, that’s what. But make sure the meat in the pies comes from a rabid dog. So, once a gang of Satanist bikers become a rabid gang of Satanist bikers, only love, peace and fluffy kittens could ensue, right? What could go wrong?

For the first time in a while, we bring back the Anime Review with no small bit of gushing over K-On! This slice of life anime is one of the most successful in recent years, and if Luka and Skullard are to be believed, there’s good reason for that. Find out why Luka named her own guitar “Yui”.

No Random Encounter this week, unless you count Skullard’s battle with a new appliance. Oh, the humanity. Oh, the cursing.

It’s K-On! The amazingly cute friendship anime where Rock and Role Rebels help each other study for exams.

Do you have what it takes to fuel the Poopcycle?

Have you been trying to escape from your horrific and worthless life? Should you? Today’s bonus educational short; Facing Reality (1954) may or may not hold the answer!

I can see you’re really upset about this podcast. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.