035 Your Mom’s The Sixteenth Hole

We like to say that we’re “spitting in the eye of a spiteful universe”. In order to do that though, you really have to hock up one hell of a loog. But that’s who we are and that’s how much we care. Here at What Could Go Wrong?, we give a spit. And since we know you’re all salivating for this episode, here’s the write-up!

Cripes, we went off this week. Are you a serious Star Wars fan? Then you won’t be one of ours after this episode. Luka makes it pretty clear how she feels about the classic space epic and its whore-daddy George Lucas. And Skullard lets you in on his contempt for Valentine’s Day and all who require a calendar to be sweet to their spouse once a year. In between those mini-rants, hatred towards our neighbors, animosity toward those who would curtail our freedom to swear like sailors, and some brilliantly misheard lyrics, we actually got a few news stories in. Another truck spilled crap all over the road, which we always love. A judge sentenced a husband to take his wife on a date, which by default sentences the poor wife to go on a date with her asshole husband. Perhaps he’ll take her to the sewage treatment plant, which we hear is the happening place to take your sweetheart this year. A golfer gets scolded by his mother for swearing, and a singer returns from the dead using the “Zombie Cave Escape Gambit.”

The movie this week isn’t actually a bad movie, which is curious since it’s getting a Bad Movie Review. In 2007’s Teeth, a sweet, young girl named Dawn has the worst luck with boys ever. Every guy in the movie, with the exception of her dad thankfully, rapes her. As it turns out, each of the assholes have pretty poor luck themselves, because poor Dawn has vagina dentata, which is a Latin term for the worst case of snapping pussy you’ve ever seen. Luka rates this a Great Intentionally Bad Movie, and Skullard rates it a bad date movie and a boner-killer. We over-analyze and deconstruct the hell out of this one, maybe because doing so takes some of the sting out of it.

Don’t forget to jump on over to our Facebook page on Valentine’s Day to see our special animated Valentine’s Greeting to you, our listeners . . . who we love . . . somewhat . . . perhaps.

Here’s some old footage of last year’s Hole Digging Competition from Japan. It’s a pointless sport, but then again, what sport isn’t? And these people are having fun. As Luka says, “Beats Nascar”.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Tami, The Transparent Woman. I saw her at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry back in the third grade. She taught me a lot, and for years served as my only sex education. If you look carefully, you’ll notice she only has ONE set of teeth.

In this week’s exciting educational short, a gang of claymation teeth learn an important lesson about dental hygiene. Please be horrified by The Munchers: A Fable (1973)!