Tag Archives: star wars

044 Most Rum Indeed

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Ah, vacation time! Luka and Skullard have earned a full week away from toil at the button factory, and now they shall fill their days with play and relaxation. Or will they? Perhaps instead of jovial trips to the zoo, they will battle their animal-like neighbors for hallway domination. The plan is to take a drive to the Mall of America, but perhaps they’ll end up at the Canadian border fending off an incursion of rabid nutria. They’re hoping to catch a matinee of The Avengers, but who knows? Perhaps it is you, dear listener, who will be the one to avenge L&S after they are unjustly accused of grand larceny, criminal malfeasance, and reckless endangerment of a minor (long story . . . the kid had it coming). The simple truth is, anything could happen during this intended week of leisure to turn it into a flaming week of doom. We don’t expect flaming doom; we plan on fuzzy kittens, cupcakes, joyful singing and balloons! What Could Go Wrong?

Carnival of Souls is a 1962 horror classic. “Classic” in the sense that it’s old and a lot have people have seen it, like Skullard’s grandmother’s tits are “classic”. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to run out and recommend either to your friends. Luka’s Bad Movie Review gives this film two ratings: if it’s a horror film, it’s a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie; if it’s an art film, it’s a Pretty Good Unintentionally Bad Movie. So how good it is depends on your intentions in watching, which can be said for Skullard’s grandmother as well. Skullard’s grandmother is not the lead actress in this movie, but if she was, you might care more about the story. This lady walks away from a car wreck and begins seeing apparitions. She also plays the pipe organ a lot. You can decide which prospect is scarier. She also becomes fixated on an abandoned dance hall, perhaps because just before the car she was in plummeted from the bridge into the muddy river water below, the Kinks “Come Dancing” was playing on the radio. Sadly, Carnival of Souls isn’t the kind of carnival where you can find over-priced food booths or rigged midway games, but you do end up coming away from this film feeling ripped off.

Ah, yes. Canival of Souls! It may sound like a rip-roaring metaphysical ride on the midway, but alas. It’s really not. On the plus side, though, it doesn’t contain a couple of thrilling scenes.
Such as when Mary and her friends drag race. Wow! Action!

Or when Mary plays the chruch organ. Brilliant! Sinful!

Why leave your child in the care of strangers, when there are grandparents to watch the kid? What Could Go Wrong, right?

Skullard turned 44 this last week, and in his view you can never have too much cake. Especially with this one.

Sweetie and Gao are tuning up Sweet Pea, Skullard’s super-cute mandolin.

In this week’s bonus educational short; Cheating (1952), we ask important questions. Is copying off someone’s test paper really worth getting caught? IS IT? Please tune in and discover the answer!

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: on the flip-side, it reads, “Sponsored by the Non-Illusionist Society”. What, you think I’m going to be happier without my illusions? Are you nuts? If I could see the world clearly as it really is, I’d be hiding in my closet, rocking back and forth and sobbing, not happier. Let me have my fantasies, and I’ll let you go on believing that’s a sharp haircut you got there, buddy.

The nutria . . . ARE COMING!!!

035 Your Mom’s The Sixteenth Hole

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We like to say that we’re “spitting in the eye of a spiteful universe”. In order to do that though, you really have to hock up one hell of a loog. But that’s who we are and that’s how much we care. Here at What Could Go Wrong?, we give a spit. And since we know you’re all salivating for this episode, here’s the write-up!

Cripes, we went off this week. Are you a serious Star Wars fan? Then you won’t be one of ours after this episode. Luka makes it pretty clear how she feels about the classic space epic and its whore-daddy George Lucas. And Skullard lets you in on his contempt for Valentine’s Day and all who require a calendar to be sweet to their spouse once a year. In between those mini-rants, hatred towards our neighbors, animosity toward those who would curtail our freedom to swear like sailors, and some brilliantly misheard lyrics, we actually got a few news stories in. Another truck spilled crap all over the road, which we always love. A judge sentenced a husband to take his wife on a date, which by default sentences the poor wife to go on a date with her asshole husband. Perhaps he’ll take her to the sewage treatment plant, which we hear is the happening place to take your sweetheart this year. A golfer gets scolded by his mother for swearing, and a singer returns from the dead using the “Zombie Cave Escape Gambit.”

The movie this week isn’t actually a bad movie, which is curious since it’s getting a Bad Movie Review. In 2007’s Teeth, a sweet, young girl named Dawn has the worst luck with boys ever. Every guy in the movie, with the exception of her dad thankfully, rapes her. As it turns out, each of the assholes have pretty poor luck themselves, because poor Dawn has vagina dentata, which is a Latin term for the worst case of snapping pussy you’ve ever seen. Luka rates this a Great Intentionally Bad Movie, and Skullard rates it a bad date movie and a boner-killer. We over-analyze and deconstruct the hell out of this one, maybe because doing so takes some of the sting out of it.

Don’t forget to jump on over to our Facebook page on Valentine’s Day to see our special animated Valentine’s Greeting to you, our listeners . . . who we love . . . somewhat . . . perhaps.

Here’s some old footage of last year’s Hole Digging Competition from Japan. It’s a pointless sport, but then again, what sport isn’t? And these people are having fun. As Luka says, “Beats Nascar”.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Tami, The Transparent Woman. I saw her at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry back in the third grade. She taught me a lot, and for years served as my only sex education. If you look carefully, you’ll notice she only has ONE set of teeth.

In this week’s exciting educational short, a gang of claymation teeth learn an important lesson about dental hygiene. Please be horrified by The Munchers: A Fable (1973)!