Category Archives: Uncategorized

087 Elemental Force of Evil

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Girlfriends and boyfriends may come and go (and if they were boyfriends, they usually go after they come), but exes are forever. Both Skullard and Luka have had their share of lack-luster personages cluttering up their past, causing no small amount of shame and/or embarrassment when they come to mind. Don’t worry, we don’t need to check Facebook to know they’re all fat and sad now, living lives of crushing boredom without us while we frolic frequently naked and moderately care-free here in Demon Lord Dante Tower (Demon Lord Dante!?!). Let them reap the consequences of their collective folly of not prizing us as the precious treasures we are. They are dead to us. They are as the dust we kick off our shoes upon entering a finer and more beautiful world that doesn’t involve them. Fuckers.

Behold! The malevolent force of nature that has it out for you and all you hold dear! Fear it!!!

The Arrogant Worms are one of the finest musical-comedy groups of all time, and I’d like to see the wait-staff at the Olive Garden get away with this one.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Nope, we’re not out of chimps yet. It’s finally Summer, and Bobo here is going on vacation. Look at how excited he is. He’s packed up everything he needs to go see his happy chimp family. He can’t wait to get to the airport and stand in a line. Then he’ll get to stand in another line. Oh boy! And then his suitcase which is so full of stuff that it can barely close will be opened again and dug through while Bobo’s privates are scanned for weapons. And then he’ll wait some more in a room with not enough plastic chairs with a lot of grumpy people to get herded onto a big aluminum tube with poor air circulation to be treated rudely by flight staff and irritated by fat, smelly, inconsiderate assholes on every side of him. And he’s going to pay hundreds of dollars for the privilege. Yay! Bobo’s going to have such fun! Don’t you wish you could go with him?

086 Most Likely To Succeed

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Sure, this is Father’s Day, but it’s also Fudge Day which honest people will admit to being even nearer and dearer to their self-indulgent hearts. Fudge originated at Vassar College in the 1880’s and quickly spread to other women’s colleges throughout the region because there were no vibrators yet. C’mon, you can’t have underwear pillow fights every night, right? Not long after, shops on Mackinac Island in Michigan began cooking up the squishy goodness to sell to tourists. Suddenly, there were tourist on Mackinac Island. Coincidence? In fact, some of those shops that sold fudge in the late 1900’s are still around making bliss and SHOULD CONSIDER BECOMING SPONSORS OF A CERTAIN PODCAST. For example, the Mackinac Fudge Shop wouldn’t have to spend a dime to get us to embed a link to their website from our own. Just a bit of product every so often would certainly buy our loyalty, mercenaries that we are. Of course, the same deal goes out to Alexia Potatoes as well. And if you’re offended at the level of whoredom we’re willing to sink to, perhaps you’ve never considered what a couple of cheap whores can do to improve your life. Ask yo Momma. Also, this podcast could easily be brought to you by Prunes. We don’t think most people realize just how good prunes are. Though not as good as fudge, right Mackinac Fudge Shop?

Donald Duck – NOT appropriate for children. Never was, never will be. Fucking rage-aholic spazmatron.

This guy is one persuasive bastard. You really ought to listen to this proto-geek prune enthusiast.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Another postcard . . . with chimpanzees. Here’s Bongo, the official WCGW cook whipping up our Thursday night after podcast meal. Please Alexia Potatoes . . . PLEASE save us from this fate!

084 A Mighty Pile

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We by a lot of TV series on DVD. TOO many. It might be one of the reasons we’re poor. And lacking in shelf space. But then again, if you’re not paying $80 minimum for cable every month, you can afford a couple of box sets when you find them. And if you can find two shows a month that are worth collecting on DVD, you’re either watching way more TV than we are or your standards are abysmal. Of course, with Netflix and Hulu you don’t really need to buy DVDs anymore because – LA LA LA LA . . . I CAN’T HEAR WHAT I’M SAYING!

Yuichiro Miura accomplishes more at age 80 than you do in your whole life. He got to the summit of Everest, looked down on the world below and yelled, “All you kids get off my lawn!”

This is the basic idea of the 3-D food printer. This may be the one invention that Luka wants to see become reality more than any other.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Behold the world headquarters of Foodstuffs International, the evil organization working tirelessly behind the scenes to keep cheap and effective food replication from becoming a reality. Plus, they’re always wizzing cheese.

082 Too Bad

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We’re still looking for a new place to live. The landlord has gone back into hiding. The ongoing drama has endured to the point where it’s gotten boring, kinda like The Following on Fox. So rather than continuing to dwell on day to day shit that doesn’t seem to go anywhere, we return to our tried and true format that never went anywhere either.

“Boy, I sure do like participating in MEMES. I wish I could come up with something for that wildly hilarious ‘Confession Bear’ project. Oh wait! There was that one time I got away with homicide. I’ll just put that out there on Reddit. What could go wrong?”

Aliens come down and bestow super powers on a mere mortal. Is it the Green Lantern? The Greatest American Hero? Is it Star Brand (and if you know who THAT is, you’re Mega-Ultra-Quantum Nerd o’ the Month!)? Nope, we’re talking about Guardiana – Safety Woman! No longer just a lowly freelance writer and part-time crossing guard, Guardiana protects the youth of America by teaching just how lethal your own damn house is. Let’s all give the Danger Dodger salute – AWARE! ALERT! ALIVE! – and watch “Safety: Harm Hides at Home”!

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “This famous cheese was on display at the New York World’s Fair”. But of course, you already knew that. It’s famous after all. 34,591 pounds is almost enough to get stolen in Wisconsin. Those people sure are smiling big. I wonder what the photographer told them to say . . .

OVA – What’s That Sound?

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We’re doing our best to laugh about all this, but it’s still kind of an open wound (as the continued dripping will attest to). Thanks to everyone who’s wished us well and is pulling for us. We appreciate all the positive thoughts for all the fucking good it does. No, really, thanks. We’re not kidding. It means a lot in a way, kinda.

Here’s how the drippage looked as of Saturday, March 23rd. Watch it . . . IF YOU DARE!

Behold! Skullard’s ingenuity in action! As you can see, when ol’ Skully puts his hand to a task, quality is job one.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: This is actually an antique postcard that bares a 1909 postmark and half-hearted note from Ed to his Aunt May in Manchester, Iowa (and that was the extent of the address too . . . it seems all you needed in 1909 was the name of the town and the postman could take care of the rest). But I chose this postcard not so much for its historic significance as to show you the type of person I expect the landlord to eventually send to fix the leak.

077 That Feels Good

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It’s true that 45% of Americans believe in ghosts and 77% believe in angels. The majority of Americans (almost 70%) are ready to accept the idea of Climate Change, but even more have accepted that you can’t go swimming after eating and you need to check your kid’s Halloween candy for razor blades. And nobody around here accepts the metric system. News flash: you do NOT lose the majority of body heat through your head! Swallowed gum does NOT stay in your stomach for seven years! The “Five Second Rule” is bullshit, so stop eating off the floor, ya slob! It’s embarrassing some of the garbage we believe all because some joker told us something stupid and we didn’t have the spine to say, “Sez who?” Maybe there’s hope in the fact that every kid now has a mobile device with access to Google. Perhaps there will come a day when religion and bigotry will be replaced by crowd-sourcing. But until that day comes, be very careful who you trust when it comes to the dissemination of truth. We’ll never lie to you. We’ll never tell you that a camel stores water in its hump or that men have one rib fewer than women. We’re all about the truth around here, and if you’re going to believe something, believe in us . . . the podcast called What Could Go Wrong? Or not.

We told you all about Kai, the heroic hatchet-weilding hitch-hiker that is our new King of Awesome. But you really need to hear him tell the story in his own fuckin’ words, yo.


And now that you’ve heard the story, hear it again through the magic of auto-tune! (By the way, you can now buy this kooked out jam on iTunes!)

The Cookie Monster has returned the Golden Biscuit. No, this isn’t a children’s book. What we want to know is, how the blazes did he get it up there on that horse without anyone seeing?

Duff Goldman out classes all local pastery chefs, both with his amazing talent, and with his humanity.

Party In My Pants is a place where you can buy artistic, designer menstrual pads. Before you scoff, give it a look!

A well-groomed doctor lectures a sore loser and his fussbudget mother that his sister’s illness is all due to psychosomatic bullshit. And for this, he made a house call. Watch Attitudes and Health (1949) and find out how being a whiney little bitch is a medical condition.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Not only are we sad, but we’re pretty freakin’ passive-agressive. What, did my MOM design this card!?! Church and Guilt, hand in glove . . . Momma would be so proud.

Vacation! Away With Us!

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Luka and Skullard have hit the road in their trusty Honda Civic, blazing down the highway at a fearsome 60 mph traffic allowing. It is a pilgrimage of the faithful to meet Hello Kitty herself in all her cute and fuzzy glory. Wish us luck in this endeavor fraught with hotel reservations, gas station bathrooms, fat tourists and children we care not a wit for. This, of course, means NO SHOW this weekend, but NEXT WEEK we’ll be able to astound you with full details of everything that went wrong on the trip. What Could Go Wrong? Well . . . you obviously don’t know us very well, do you?

OVA – Love Seat

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Luka’s sick, but Skullard soldiers on, although after this half-episode, you might wish he’d get shot. Here’s the show:

Something like this should be worth a pizza, right? No? Maybe a quick game of Donkey Kong at the pizza parlour? Maybe? Who farted?

Ooo, just look at her sitting there . . . yeah, you know she wants it. Mmmmmm, check out the cushions on her. What? It’s not a her? Well . . . call me bi-curious then.

Kevin MacLeod’s music goes with just about anything. Check this out!

In leiu of an educational short, here’s a public service anouncement about V.D. That’s something no one ever got from screwing a sofa! Silverfish, maybe, but never the clap.

From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “Morristown World Championship Senior High School Band poses in the world’s largest chair made by The Berkline Coporation, world’s largest manufacturer of reclining chairs, Morristown, Tennessee.” Good thing this is in Tennessee. This baby would be considered BBW in Wisconsin.