New Year’s greetings to you, gentle listeners. Rather than comment on how awful 2014 was or make any questionable resolutions about how we won’t skip weeks of episodes in the year to come (ahem), let us hip you to the jive of our YouTube channel. Luka’s been doing her HorrorSnark channel for some years now, building up a huge collection of the tacky, retro and bizarre. Now she’s calling it “What Could Go Wrong?”, basing the name on some show or something . . . it’s an internet thing, we think. Please do check it out (and subscribe) at the What Could Go Wrong? YouTube Channel.
He should dress ‘im up all fancy in a matching suit and pants! Aw, how roly-poly.
Looks like a “Loser” to us.
“Hey Morton, pass the salt.” Nothing shines up a brand new paint job like burying a car in road salt. We suggest parking somewhere else in the future.
Just what every little girl wants for Christmas: Dil-Doh. Seriously, no one at Hasbro said, “Wait a second . . .”
This is horrifying. A child with a encephalopathic head tries to poison his dog with common household items. Then, for some reason, it gets racist. Watch this Precious Moments child try to kill his pet in Sniffy Escapes Poisoning (1967).
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “I’m gonna play with my baby bongos, have fun every day with my baby bongos . . . a bird is on that basket, not a baby in a casket so it’s not another baby corpse.”
Ho ho ho ho! It is apparently the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, blah blah blah blah. What Could Go Wrong?, however, is too busy to prance about like Santa’s sissy reindeer. Skullard is working thirteen hour days six days a week, and Luka is going mad with insomnia. But even such horrid hinderences shall not stop an extra merry holiday podcast from flying through the internet and into your brains. Well, maybe not “extra merry”. More like “super ragey”. But it’s all good, right? So shut your yuletite holes and deck the fucking halls. Christmas time is here!
In this week’s Bad Movie Review, Luka pisses on Santa’s Slay (2005), a Lousy Intentionally Bad horror comedy starring former professional wrestler Bill Goldberg. The poor jokes and pointless violence eventually escalate to a terrifying curling match, which should not be seen to be believed. Seriously, this movie’s only worth about five minutes of your time. Or maybe not. Cross it off your list. It’s been naughty and disappointing.
“Hey Mum! Could you look in my drawer for my socks?”
“AIEEEEEEEE!”
“Hey, look Mommy! There’s a bird on the roof!”
“AIEEEEEEEE!”
Girl in the mail room: “Um, do we have a Henry Jones on faculty?”
Short Round: “You call him Doctor Jones, doll!”
Behold! A Christmas educational short, in which a lowly little tree with poor self esteem gets a holiday surpise – being murdered by a wood-cutter! Join in the no account fun with A Christmas Rhapsody (1948)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: I think this card says it well. Have a fine holiday . . . despite everything.
Merry Christmas, podcast listeners! Happy Hanukkah! Have a wonderful Kwanzaa! And an excellent Yule! Enjoy the Winter Solstice! Have a fun Boxing Day! And a great Festivus! Also please enjoy Pepper Pot Day, Bicarbonate of Soda Day and Life Day, should you find yourself on the Wookie homeworld! Seriously. We’re not making this shit up. Even the Jedi have their own holiday now. But regardless of your holiday of choice, this episode is our seasonal gift to you. So get comfy, preferably by the crackling fire, grab your cookies and your nog (what?), and enjoy A Very Special What Could Go Wrong?
DO NOT MISS THIS! Go to our Facebook page to see a bonus, musical Christmas video starring Luka and Skullard! And “Like” us while you’re there. Why the hell not, right? We’d “Like” you, if you were us. Sure we would. Why would we lie?
Holy Christ! (we exclaim reverently) What a packed podcast we have for you! The news gets us right into the holiday spirit with reindeer, letters to Santa, displays of Christmas lights, and chicks in bikinis. Two little children write letters to the Fat Man, and their wishes come true. And what does Santa do after a job well done? He sits back and sucks on a hookah, that’s what. The Post Office delivers a package on time for Christmas, albeit the next Christmas. And a “Piece of Chillief” sends all the municipal workers in his town his Christmas wish for them to have “incredible sexual relations.” So say we all.
Jack Frost (1996) is must-see crap your holiday season, and it’s the target for this week in Luka’s Bad Movie Review. In this Intentionally Good Bad Movie, a serial killer turns into a snowman, like they do. No sooner can you say “Happy Birthday” than he rolls into a small town and exacts his revenge on the Sheriff, his family, and anyone else dumb enough to play in the snow. This is a pun-tastic kill-fest filled with the silly kind of bloodshed that makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, and laugh at the mindless slaughter. And, after a certain nude bathing scene, you’ll never look at a carrot the same way again.
Sometimes people mean to get you a present for the holidays, but something happens, and you end up empty handed. No big deal, shit happens. Sometimes people never intend to get you a present, but they want you to think that they did, so you end up empty handed with the bonus of an excuse. So what’s more insulting: the fact that they didn’t want to give you a gift, or that they think you’re so stupid that you’ll believe their bullshit. Luka unearths some classic bullshit from “friends” who would rather lie than spend a couple of bucks.
The Anime Lyrics Game returns with a special Christmas round! Will Skullard be able to tell what’s false and what’s real? Here’s a hint: he still believes in Santa.
Finally, there’s a war out there, dear listeners. It’s a war on Christmas, and everyone’s favorite holiday is at risk. Or is it? Skullard’s Ramble this week will either ease your mind or get him shot. Either way, he’s not going to be welcome back home if his mother hears this.
What Could Go Wrong? was pre-recorded in front of a live (?) studio audience.
Behold! The rusty bottlecap holiday snake of TERROR!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: I’m not sure what this means, but my best guess is that it involves your father giving you directions while wearing sheepskins. All of which sounds very festive to me.
In this week’s bonus educational short, two babbling children make a wish to visit Santa’s workshop. How wonderful! Santa’s helicopter arrives and takes them to the “North Pole”, which happens to look a lot like a dingy local mall. Feast your eyes on A Visit to Santa (1963)!
