As you sit around the jolly dinner table, surrounded by your loved ones, never forget – one day they will all be dead. Anyone and everyone who matters to you will be a fetid, rotting corpse, infested with maggots and crawling with worms. The flesh will fall from their decaying skeleton like the sumptuous flesh from the juicy turkey that you are about to enjoy together. Don’t kid yourself. This goes for your children, too. You may imagine a bright and beautiful future for them, but their ultimate fate is to suffer and rot, and no amount of tears or prayers will changce that. There is no heaven, no blissful reunion, no hope of repieve. There is only the certainty of the grave.
Thankskilling (2009) is quite the Lousy Intentionally Bad Movie according to Luka’s Bad Movie Review. In fact, it shouldn’t be called so much a review as a warning to the unwary veiwer. Someone might unwittingly assume that a film built around a turkey puppet that carries out a five century old Native American curse by savagely butchering unexpecting holiday diners might be a bit of a larf. Larf elsewhere, dear listeners. When parody fails, it’s never pretty.
These ragamuffins were able to get 110,000 “Likes”. Meet the future of online marketing.
It’s time for an incipid short about one of the nicest days of the year; Thanksgiving. There’s the smell of turkey and happiness in the air and all that crap. Don’t you just want to dive right in and gobble down everything in sight? But wait! What about your precious table manners? Don’t you know that being polite makes everything more fun? Please become inspired by this week’s holiday-themed educational short; Dining Together (1951)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: What, you didn’t think I had a Thanksgiving-appropriate postcard in my pile? How little you know me.
We came back from our vacation with a trunk load of tales to tell, as if you cared. So much so that we had no time to include any news in our podcast, as if that mattered. But during a week in which there were the aftermaths of both major storm devastation and a presidential election, we figured you’d had enough news. Instead, we offer you full coverage of what happens when Skullard and Luka are freed of responsiblity and have a little money in their pocket. Let other podcasts delve into the arcane demographics of exit polls and Super PACs; only What Could Go Wrong? gives you the inside story of the Magical Princess at Hello Kitty’s birthday party.
Behold, the greatest hat Luka never bought: Trinket! If you have a spare $350 laying around, this could be the lid for you.
Passion Cake . . . the dessert that makes Luka, um, very happy.
Wait, who’s that at the door? It’s this week’s bad movie, The Screaming Skull (1958)! Noooo!!!! I eventually see it!
Isn’t it nice to be nice to people? And if we’re nice and treat people nicely, then they will be nice to us! Wouldn’t that be nice? Learn how with this week’s nice educational short; The Fun of Being Thoughtful (1950)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: After all our talk about the Mall of America and the election, I thought this postcard combined both elements perfectly.
Who doesn’t love Halloween? Sure, Christmas gets a lot of attention because it takes the most planning, but unless you’re a mall Santa, there’s not a lot of chance to play dress-up. Halloween is a chance to act silly because you’re not really being yourself. You would never jump out from a bush and yell “BLAAARGH!” . . . but a goofy pirate might. You would never drink too much and go home with that guy, but Sexy Alice in Wonderland is in the mood for a tumble down the rabbit hole. Go ahead Sponge Bob, eat that huge bag of candy. You’ll still fit into those square pants tomorrow. It’s fun to pretend we’re someone else, especially someone who doesn’t exist, because it takes that whole burden of responsibility off for a while. Wear the mask, have some fun, then go back to boring old “real life” November 1st. And if your costume lends itself to making a specific lasting impression, by all means go for it. If you’re dressing up as John Dillinger, make sure to stop in at the bank. If you’re a mad bomber, see if you can make it through airport security. If you’re dressed as a pimp, slap a bitch. If you’re dressing up as a priest or scout leader . . . may we suggest a different costume. You can only take this “It wasn’t me, it was the outfit” garbage just so far, right?
In this week’s Bad Movie Review, Luka goes back to 2003 and takes a Wrong Turn (see what we did there?). You may not have seen this movie, but you’ve definitly seen it before. A carload of attractive college students are on a Spring break road trip and decide to take a short cut, right? Sound familiar? And they stop at a gas station an get directions from a vaguely threatening backwoods hick? Of course they do. Then they run over a spiked chain that blows out their tires and they end up being picked off, one by one, by a family of inbred cannibals. Yadda-yadda, la-dee-da, pass the popcorn, we’ve been down this old dirt road before. This time our usual vile villains are a trio of deformed brothers by the names of One-Eye, Three-Fingers and Sawtooth (or the Artist Formerly Known As Fuckface). Like any teen-screamer, Wrong Turn has had more the necessary amount of sequels and prequels, usually released directly to video. All of these are your standard, run-of-the-mill, snark worthy fare. In other words, get your snacks, get comfy, and get ready to point and laugh.
We took a short detour down Halloween Movie Memory Lane. Here are some sentimental favorites from years gone by:
Mockingbird Lane: Well, it was going to be a pilot for a new series, but now they’re calling it a “Halloween Special”. Take our word for it, this is no Great Pumpkin. Oh Eddie . . .
If you aren’t doing anything fun for Halloween this year, why not make yourself feel better by laughing at this stupid family and their potentially rabid dog? Please enjoy the low-income thrills of Halloween Party (1953)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: This one’s a classic. Mine’s only a copy and I wish I had an original, but I adore the silliness of it. That witch must be driving like a maniac, because all the veggies look scared shitless. Hell, the pickle fell out! That’s what you get for not buckling up, ya briney bastard! And is it just me, or does that car’s smile remind anyone else of Speed-Buggy? “A-ROOMA-ZOOM-ZOOM!”
Make no mistake, we podcast from the Greatest County In The World. Or do we? As it turns out, the U.S. has fallen behind China in per capita beer consumption (GASP!). Sure, we’re still #1 when it comes to incarceration rates, but we’re only fifth in executions. No wonder we’re going broke! China, Iran, Iraq and Saudi Arabia are all probably laughing at us that we bother feeding so many prisoners. “Less feedin’ and more bleedin’,” they say. We’re in the top tier of countries when it comes to human trafficking, but you’d never know that because we rank 24th in freedom of the press. AND 59th in percentage of men circumcised, so take that, you putzes! Our infrastructure is ranked 23rd in the world and our health system is ranked 37th, but somehow we’re still number one in gun deaths, so at least we have our priorities straight. In fact, we have the highest death rate for young people in the civilized world, so suck on that Finland! We’re 33rd in educational performance, but how were you supposed to know that? It’s a miracle you can even read! I guess we’re not doing too bad since on the Index of Global Wellbeing we reached #14. Denmark was #1. So the answer is simple: look at what they’re doing right and see what we can incorporate into our . . . aw, fuck it. Let’s just march in there and force them to give us the good life. That’s how we do things around here. U-S-A! U-S-A!
In 1992, before rings and hobbits and giant apes, Peter Jackson gave us the Sumatran Rat Monkey (TM). This adorable critter put the bite on an over-baring mother and, next thing you know, we get Dead Alive! This is one of the few truly Great Intentionally Bad Movies, and it is an over-the-top slop-o-rama. The S.R.M. (as he’s known to his friends) carries one of the nastiest zombie viruses you’ve ever seen, and Mommy Dearest gets a full dose and begins the plague to end all plagues. Pretty soon “Home Sweet Home” becomes zombie central, and it falls to Mommy’s obedient son and his button-cute girlfriend to destroy all dead that walk. Problem is, it takes more than a shot to the head to put these things down . . . you have to liquify them. And you thought a lawn-mower was just for mowing lawns, didn’t you? Don’t miss this one, if you can stomach all the blood, puss, bile, mucous and generalized glop in bucketfuls.
Wanna see the zombie baby fist fight? Myk Lewis dug us up this clip. Dig it!
CLICK HERE to learn about the strange death of Alfalfa! (Big thanks to neatorama.com!)
The Walking Dead – Season 3: A hack-and-slash opener with shocks and surprises. Sadly, still no showers.
American Horror Story Asylum: An amazing cast with almost too much to do . . . plus a unexpected flash of nun-butt.
Beauty and the Beast: A creature this hideous stretches the limits of credulity, and we’re not talking about the “Beast”. How does this shit get on the air!?!
Do you ever wish your family would fuck off? Well, little do you realize that if they ever did, you would immediately become lonely and starving, waiting at the door for them to return like some wretched dog. Please become enlightened by this week’s incipid educational short; Friendship Begins at Home (1949)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “Bil Mathiason, Double-A Breeder of Chatwich Basset Hounds, here seen in full uniform along with 3-time state champion winner ‘GOOGS’ – the real force behind the enterprise.” If you ever wondered why I didn’t follow my dream of being a Double-A Breeder, now you know . . . I couldn’t afford the uniform. Sadly, I wasted all my funds on dental work.
For the past several months, What Could Go Wrong? has been acting a little aloof and despondant. It was sad and akward, even around its closest friends. It didn’t go out much, and looked to have lost weight. People were starting to get concerned. Last week, the podcast brightened up! It seemed to be confident again, and everyone figured things were okay. Then suddenly, What Could Go Wrong? disappeared completely, only to be found dead in its bathtub early this morning of self-inflicted wounds. Shockingu! In hind-sight, all the signs were there. Oh well.
In this week’s Bad Movie Review, a man fights another man over who’s going to (or not going to) wear a pair of sunglasses. Either watch this clip of 1988’s They Live or start eating that trash can!
Fringe: The Final Season: The team fights against the oppression of the Observers, or the Viewers, depending on who you ask. This could also be titled “Fringe: The Unnecessary Season”.
666 Park Avenue: Terry O’Quinn and Vanessa Williams play the Devil and his wife in a swanky New York apartment building. “Calling Doctor Faust. Doctor Faust to the creepy basement, please.”
Once Upon A Time: “What? Disney’s going to let us use their characters in a drama series? And we get all the money we want for production? Time to go ape-shit, boys!”
Arrow: One of DC’s least known heroes gets his own Batman-esque live action series. And introducing the most effective, high-tech identity protection disguise yet . . . the hoodie.
Today’s bonus educational short, How Do You Do (1946) reminds young people that the only way to make friends and get ahead in life is by being insanely polite every moment of every day. Shake hands, motherfuckers! I mean, shake hands, PLEASE, motherfuckers, sirs. Thank you.
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “You want this? You want? C’mon . . . that’s right, this way. C’mon, just a little further. That’s right, over that line there. Keep coming. You know you want this, right? Good, good, keep moving this way. Oh, don’t mind him, he just didn’t want it as much as you do. Just step over him and keep moving this way. Thaaaaaaaat’s right. Oh, you’re so close! You’re almost getting it. Oops, another line there . . . just step over that, and . . . good, you’re getting the hang of it now. Now, c’mon, a little more. That’s it. Further . . . this way . . . this is what you want, right? See it? It’s right here. It’s all for you. C’mon now, it’s all yours . . . just a little further . . .”
If there’s one word that describes us, it’s plucky. We’ve got spunk, we do! No matter what the difficulties or dangers, we sally forth and soldier on. Our gritty determination has seen us through countless trials and travails, emerging through the mists of woe with spirited grins on our feisty faces. No challenge can match our bold ganbatte attitude. “We are never give up!” as the song says. There is nothing . . . NOTHING that can hold us down!
Except maybe a cold. That’s a bit much. Geez, cut us a little slack, would ya?
2003’s Love Object is not a bad little creep-out if you enjoy a bit of depraved nebbish in your psycho-killer. Poor Kenneth is such a dweeb. How’s a dweeb-cicle like him ever going to get a date? Here’s an idea: save all the money that isn’t spent on romantic dinners, weekend getaways, flowers, candy and all that other stuff and spend it all at once to buy an anatomically accurate silicone sex doll. Now we’re talkin’! Nikki the Doll doesn’t care if Kenneth is a dweeb, just so long as he dresses her nice and uses a good antiseptic to wipe her down afterwards. But wait, what if spending time with Nikki improves Kenneth’s confidence and he isn’t such a dweeb anymore? What if Kenneth was only practicing on Nikki so that he could get together with Lisa? Nikki doesn’t like that. No, Nikki doesn’t like that at all. Maybe Nikki wants her dweeb back and will do anything to keep him all to her ball-jointed self. Luka, quite the doll herself, gives this dating sim a Good Unintentionally Bad Movie rating. Here’s a quick look:
What makes Love Object such a creepy flick is that RealDolls actually exist! Google it if you want, but don’t do it at work. Rip Torn might kick your ass.
Mark Wayne Williams, the Batman of Petoskey, in all his costumed glory. There are plenty of pictures available of the man behind the cowl, but let’s just remember him this way, shall we?
Yes, by gawd, there IS a Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve being heavily guarded somewhere in Quebec. Rest assured.
Red Dwarf X: The Boys from the Dwarf are back, baby!
Elementary: “Ooo, my dear Watson!”
Brickleberry: It lost us right after the Parkinsons/handjob joke. No, we didn’t make that up.
Last Resort: this show should only be watched as one.
Revolution: A thinly veiled NRA wet dream without a single character to cheer for. So, what, we cheer for the guns?
The Mob Doctor: “Feeling plucky, punk?”
How should one behave on a date? Where should you go? What kind of fun should you have? At the end of the evening, should you shake a girl’s hand, ignore her completely, or lunge at her lustfully? Please find the answers by viewing this week’s educational short: Dating Dos and Don’ts (1949)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Remember back in the old days before Match.com and RealDolls? How did anyone find that perfect person before the internet connected far-flung souls? There were plenty of matchmakers and dating services, not to mention well-intentioned friends that could arrange blind dates. Did any of these things work? Well, let’s see: take a look at your parents. They happy? Y’know what, I’ll stick with the internet, thank you.
Growing up, you may have heard a parent exclaim, “Stop that! That’s disgusting! What if the Queen showed up and saw you doing that?” That was the secular version of, “What if Christ returned and you were doing that?” Such hypotheticals were meant to instill shame into awkward, misbehaving children. More often than not, though, what got instilled was a paranoia towards the sudden injection of royalty or deity into our daily lives. How’s a kid supposed to relax when at any moment a British monarch could pull the coach up out front, walk in the front door and start judging the children? How does a child deal with the anxiety over the very real chance that Jesus will descend through the clouds, gather His faithful and take them with Him to paradise while that child is busy on the toilet? Jesus isn’t going to interrupt; He isn’t rude, but that means the kid misses the Rapture! What would happen if Christ returned AND the Queen showed up? What’s the protocol? “I’m sorry, Your Majesty, I’d love to give you tea, but I didn’t know you were coming, am all out of tea, don’t even own a teapot, and as it turns out I have to rush to claim my eternal reward. So very sorry, Mum, but perhaps we can continue this up in heaven? What’s that Jesus? She’s not . . . oh, now, this IS awkward.”
This week’s Bad Movie Review is about May (2002), a lonely young girl whose mother instilled no small amount of shame and awkwardness of her own. May is a girl with a lazy eye which makes her feel shy and isolated growing up. Her mother uses that isolation to abuse and control the little girl so that by the time May is a young woman, she’s one messed up bowl of rigatoni. She’s really no good at making friends, but she decides if she could make just one friend, one perfect friend, that would be enough. Sadly for her eventual victims, May subscribes to the ala carte school of “making a friend”: take a little from column A, a little from column B, do some creative stitching and viola, a new friend, custom to order. Luka gives this psycho/horror a Pretty Good Unintentionally Bad Movie rating, due to the fact once the killing starts things get a bit silly. Really, a girl Luka’s size is going to slice and dice grown adults with scalpels and scissors? Luka can’t even open a jar of pasta sauce let alone sever Skullard’s spinal column. Not for lack of trying. To open the jar, of course.
Is that a monkey in your pants? This Slender Loris is the same primate that some sub-primates were caught trying to smuggle in this week’s news segment. No, wait, they weren’t trying to smuggle it in the segment, but in a guy’s underwear. The jerk was caught, but hopefully not before some Slender Loris teethmarks were applied liberally.
In the UK, you can dress in a black body suit and be a “Movie Ninja”, keeping the theatre-going public from chatting and texting. In the US you can get your ass shot dead.
Sinbad is a goofy-ass show, but Elliot Knight has Skullard confused and repeatedly having to assert he’s not gay.
He’s Fat-Nyan, cat-turned-rapper-turned-social commentator. He’s got a message for the young people nyan. We’ll be hearing from him in the future nyan. Prepare yourselves nyan.
Kevin MacLeod provides our music over at incompetec.com. Please check out his amazing output. More than likely, this is a jam that Fat-Nyan will use to lay down his rhymes. Groove on it.
Steve has really been misbehaving. Is he a bad kid, or does he just need stricter parents? Are you thrilled to find out the reason? Are you bored enough to sit through a sixteen minute video from fifty years ago? If you answered yes to either of those questions, please tune in to this week’s redundant educational short: Discipline During Adolescence (1958)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: Why do I have a postcard of the Queen? So I can send it to her, jackass, why do you think? I’m a collector, goddamnit, I don’t ask “why”. Why do I have a postcard of the world’s largest block of cheese? Why do I have a post card of a guy lying dead in the desert? Why do I have a postcard of Dan Quayle? Because I need help, damn you! I need to be stopped! I have no control anymore! I’ve got boxes and boxes . . . where’s it going to end!?! Am I going to end up on Hoarders? Am I going to be found beneath a pile of cardstock or locked away, unshaven, compulsively sorting and resorting pictures of things I never saw myself? And what if the Queen showed up!?!
For the record: Luka never said Skullard was purple.
We don’t have cable. This is a fact that drives our cable company absolutely nuts. We get our phone and internet through the cable company, and it’s not that bad of a deal, but they want us to pay for cable as well.
“What are you doing for TV?” they ask.
“What’s it to you?” we say.
“Well, if you bundle TV along with internet and phone, you can get a special price of $130 a month.”
“And how much for just the internet and phone?”
Pause. “About $74. But that’s before taxes and fees!”
“Add on taxes and fees. What are we looking at?”
Another pause. “$80.”
“Alright then.”
We have AppleTV. We have Netflix. We have Hulu. We have Vudu if we want it, but who the hell ever would? Sure, they do offer us more than 150 channels of commercial-laden reality television, a half dozen sports networks and cooking/travel shows we’d never watch, but being able to watch anything we want whenever we want with no advertisements for stuff we don’t want for less money? Geez! Those poor cable company phone reps. They must know that selling fast internet means they’re undercutting their own cable business. And if we ever find a cheap cell phone plan? “Too slow, Chicken Marengo!” And maybe then, they’ll stop calling.
The Initiation of Sarah (1978 ) is a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie, though you wouldn’t think so considering the movie it blatently rips off is pretty good. Remember Stephen King’s Carrie? If you don’t, this movie is more than happy to remind you. Poor Sarah wants to join the posh sorority with her pretty sister where she can forge lifetime friendships, have underwear pillow fights and be molested by drunken frat boys. But, by golly, if those snooty sorority girls don’t turn out to be a gaggle of snooty sorority girls! Aw, dang! And, dag-nabbit, iffin’ those S.S.G.s don’t go and haze Sarah and abuse her and dump filth on her pretty-pretty dress until her heretofore unmanifested telekinetic powers unleash themselves and wreak havok on all and sundary. Yikes! Who could have guessed at such a massacre and copywrite infringement? Luckily, all this means is that you’ve seen this film before done better, so don’t bother. Once again, Luka’s Bad Movie Review is on the job, protecting you from shitty rip-offs, poor production values, and Morgan Fairchild’s nose.
This is a WCGW A.P.B.! You MUST watch this show! You must tell others about this show! You must keep your remote handy to pause and rewind, otherwise you’re going to miss stuff! Find it, watch it, then thank us later. You’re welcome in advance.
Hey Luka! Who’s that at the door?
Look around your crappy school. Do you see anything to be proud of? Win, lose, draw or blah blah blah whatever the fuck? Then please become enraptured by this week’s thrilling educational short, What About School Sprit (1958 )!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “Varsity School Fashons” According to the back of this postcard, we’re gawking at, from left to right, Miss Colliegiate, Miss Varsity and Miss Coed. Now, I just have to say that I don’t remember Miss Coed wearing that tiara in any of those videos I have. I can’t remember for sure if that’s the same skirt, but she was definitely lifting it several times. Miss Colliegiate may be a bit gauche for Home Economics class with those sequins, but at least she knows to accessorize with white boots like everyone else. And good ol’ Miss Varsity always has those white gloves on hand, as it were, to be handy with the boys on the varsity squad, as it were. Gosh, but the sight of these School Fashions bring back memories of my high school days . . . girls looking elsewhere and smiling at someone other than me. Ah well, them legs are too chunky anyways . . . *grumble-grumble-mutter-isolate-brood-fester-masturbate*
Some people are afraid of going to the dentist, and depending on the enamel-drilling psychopath you go to, that can be a reasonable fear. Other people are wigged out by spiders, the abundance of spiders, and the very real posibility that one could be lodged in your ear right this moment and what is that scratchy sensation, does anybody else hear that rustling sound? Snakes are a classic cause of fear, but once they bite you, what’s left to be scared about? Might as well bite the little fuckers back! Fear of flying is rapidly being replaced by a healthy fear of airports, which makes the term “Airport Security” our newest oxymoron. Of course, the ultimate fear we all deal with is the fear of death, but we avoid that by never talking about it or even bringing it up because we don’t have to considering all the marvelous distractions we surround ourselves with like TV, podcasts, the mail, and cell phones in the bathroom. What were we talking about? Doesn’t matter, nothing to be scared of here. What Could Go Wrong?
In 1984, a production company was at a crossroads. Due to poor management and a few tough breaks, Film Ventures International was on the skids. They needed a break, and the company president Edward L. Montaro knew that if they could make one blockbuster hit movie, the whole enterprise could be saved. And so they made Mutant, a film in which a chemical company in a backwoods, hick town turns the local yokels into puss-oozing zombies. Securing the services of the handsome *cough* Wings Houser as the intrepid hero, the film tells the harrowing tale of two brothers running afoul of everything from Southern stereotypes, monsters under the bed, evil scientists, undead school kids, and banana pudding. How could this movie miss? Suffice it to say that it did to the extent that Luka brands it a Lousy Unintentionally Bad Movie, and that Mr. Montaro skipped town with the contents of the company safe and was never heard from again. Considering the man’s filmography, felony theft was the least of his crimes.
Help me, Wings Hauser! There’s something under the bed!!
BEHOLD! The most convincing monster transformation of all time…
“The Candy Lady” is a candy store in Albuquerque, NM that’s been supplying the set of Breaking Bad with it’s Blue Ice rock candy for several seasons. It’s better than the stuff Walter White makes, and only slightly less addictive. Feel free to order some before they’re shut down by the D.E.A.
Yet again, Sweetie has made another musical friend, and Skullard proves that he lacks all willpower when it comes to saying “No” to stringed instruments.
Remember, you filthy children, that when you’re sick the best course of action is to isolate yourself in your home. While you’re there, you can enjoy this week’s contagiously wonderful short; Sniffles and Sneezes (1955)!
Get your headphones on for this one, then knock on over to incompetech.com and hear some more of Kevin MacLeod’s amazing stuff!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: HERMOSA LABORATORIES “Where technology meets the sea.” Vanguard reseach and testing for potential bio-electrical uses of eels is one of the many efforts underway at Hermosa Laboratories. Never feel an eel without rubber gloves. (Wiser words were never spoken. – Skullard)
This episode is dedicated in loving memory of Andy McKonicle . . . or whatever that guy’s name is.
With this installment of What Could Go Wrong?, we now have as many episodes as Heinz has varieties, which to us is significant. More significant, though, is the fact that you can still go back and listen to past episodes and sample their savory goodness, whereas with a certain condiment manufactuer, you can try the ketchup, mustard, some kind of steaky-saucey stuff, and then what? Where are the other 54 varieties Heinz? What have you done with them? Are they secreted away in shame, shambling about a cellar somewhere like some Boo Radley sandwich spread? Or are they kept out of the hands of the general public, reserved only for the flavorful enjoyment of the wealthy elite? What, are some of these condiments tailor made for the enhancement of certain endangered species a la The Freshman? Is that it? Are you merely using the majority of your condiments to curry favor with your friends in the one percent Heinz? How dare you! We common folk should have the same opportunities to dip our fries in your foie gras kicker paste or squirt Grey Wolf Poupon onto our hot dogs from a squeeze bottle as those hoity-toidy bastards at your country club/inner circle/coven/baby-eatery. And what condiment goes best with braised baby? I bet you know, don’t you Heinz? Although, wouldn’t that be funny if it turned out to be just mustard?
This week’s Bad Movie Review scrutinizes one of William Castle’s lesser-known but better acted gimmick films Homicidal (1961). It kicks off with a weird seduction of a bell-boy, a murder of a Justice of the Peace and a high-speed car chase sort of. You think, “Wow, this movie’s all action packed!” But then it settles down into some mere elder abuse (always entertaining) and the vandalism of a flower shop where the flowers never did nuthin ta nobody. Slick guys with goofy teeth and crazy blondes with sharp knives can’t be trusted, but how can we be expected to take the word of a woman named “Merriam Webster” fer chissakes? Luckily, this film gives you a chance to bail if you can’t take the mental pressure any longer. But be warned: if you take advantage of the “Fright Break”, you’ll miss the sight of granny going bowling! According to Luka, this is a Good Unintentionally Bad Movie with a shock-ingu twist that even Skullard didn’t see coming because he was tired.
Ya wanna see the big spoiler from Homicidal? Click right here, and get yourself out of the “Coward’s Corner”.
The True-to-life Walter White lacks quite a bit of Bryan Cranston’s charm. And facial symmetry. And apparently hygiene.
Grimm is back! We’re thrilled! Wanna catch up for Season Two? Here’s Season One in a nice little nutshell.
We also talked this week about an ultra-voilent, hyper-kenetic comedy from IFC called Bullet in the Face. Here’s a taste:
Alchemy Divine is an Etsy shop with beautiful handmade jewelry and snazzy cool things. Click this link and check ’em out! You’ll be surprised at what you find.
Hey, everyone! Don’t you want to live together safely and happily in social harmony? Then you’d better shut up and form a civic association! Please learn how by viewing this week’s educational short: Law and Social Controls (1949)!
From Skullard’s Postcard Collection: “Maison Marcel – Serving the most disciminating woman in the Nation’s Capital for half a century. Widest collection of real hair wigs, custom-made and ready-to-wear. Internationally renowned staff of creative hairstylists.” “It’s my favorite wig!” – Warren
Skullard took this picture on a dirt road on his delivery route. In the back woods, the bears and moose need to be warned.
